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From Tension to Teamwork – Mastering Conflict Resolution

Over the years most of us have learnt that you won’t always like everyone you work with. We all will have times where we grit our teeth, hold back an honest response or take a deep breath and let something go.

But what happens when members of your team don’t let it go?

Particularly over the last year, we have noticed increased levels of frustration bursting out into conflict between individuals. Patience levels are lower and tensions within and between teams have increased. Of course, any instances of bullying or serious behaviour issues should be dealt with immediately, but often it’s not that – it is just different communication styles or personality differences that cause the problem.

The negative impact unresolved conflict can have on your overall team’s performance or morale is significant.

Conflict between individuals is essentially a difference of opinion and it is normal for conflict to arise from time to time. Expressed within a circle of respect and courtesy, it can, in fact, be beneficial for better decision making and outcomes.

However, what happens when the conflict isn’t constructive and remains unresolved?

Hurt feelings can lead to resentment and increased stress in the workplace. Reduced productivity and absenteeism can also result. Decisions can be delayed, collaborative discussions don’t happen, and silos and simmering tension can develop.

This conflict inevitably affects the whole team, so is a much bigger issue than just two individuals not seeing eye to eye.

It’s a tough ask for leaders to manage these situations. However, taking action is critical to maintaining your team’s performance.

Our recommendations for approaching this are:

Act early 

It is tempting to wait and hope problems will resolve themselves but, the longer you wait, the greater the chance that the relationship will be irreparable. It just takes one big blow-up for someone to say something they can’t take back, so acting early while the problem is small is your best course of action.

Meet with each team member individually first 

Like any good conversation, preparation is key to them being constructive. Helping your team members to prepare is critical, so they are ready to listen and want to reach a resolution. We suggest:

  • Helping them to identify the benefits of having a good working relationship. This helps build commitment to the process going well.
  • Coaching them to identify what they need from the other party and helping them to find constructive ways to phrase this. It is not so much what is said, but how it is said. Focusing on the other person’s actions and the impact of this, not their personality, is also really important. Personal comments are never helpful. There is a big difference between saying “You are lazy” as opposed to “When you don’t pass me the information on time, I can’t submit my report”.
  • Ask them to start considering what they may change in their own approach to help the other person. This creates a mindset where they also expect to shift some of their own behaviours and steers the conversation into a two-way street.

Start by setting the scene 

Any tough conversation is difficult to start and takes a bit of warming into. We suggest starting by gaining agreement from each party to fixing the relationship. The power of a “Yes” spoken out loud and in front of others is significant and sets the tone for them to both to try and repair the relationship. Reiterate the benefits they have both identified to having a good working relationship.

Move into the conversation on what they need from each other 

This is where things can go pear shaped quickly, and your previous coaching on how to phrase their needs constructively is important. Encourage open conversation, listening and engagement between the two, but be ready to step in and get things back on track if required.

Take notes and put the agreement in writing

This doesn’t have to be a formal contract, but some form of written commitment to the identified actions or behaviour changes helps to ensure these are followed through. It also keeps it front of mind.

Follow up with positive reinforcement 

These types of conversations are not easy for those involved to accept, and for them to commit to change, so congratulating your team members and letting them know how well they did is important. This also builds the positive element of the conversation and helps them to view it in a good light.

Remember, significant change won’t necessarily happen overnight, and this is more likely to be a process.

If you catch it early and can manage the conversation well, you are on the road to enhancing relationships and building a stronger and more productive team.

Positive People have over 30 years’ experience helping leaders to build high performing teams. If you or your leaders need support with interventions, call us now on 09-445 1077.

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Verbal Warnings

Verbal Warnings – Do they have a place today?

As the disciplinary process evolves, it is helpful to reflect on your own organisation’s process and make sure it is up to date, current, fair and reasonable.

A key part of a traditional disciplinary process is the verbal warning – a step Managers can take when they believe an employee’s actions are serious enough to warrant more than an outline of expectations or a coaching session, yet not serious enough to warrant a Written Warning. Frequently these warnings are given by Managers without following a full process, and Companies often then mistakenly rely on them as the first step in a progressive warning process for misconduct.

A general rule of thumb for misconduct is that the progressive disciplinary processes should allow for three formal warnings for the employee prior to dismissal being considered. It’s important to consider whether a verbal warning forms part of the progressive disciplinary process for your organisation, and if so, specify this in your Code of Conduct.

For a verbal warning to be part of a progressive disciplinary process:

  1. It must be confirmed in writing, outlining the breach of policy and procedure and future expectations, and ideally have the employee’s signature
  2. You must still conduct an investigation, allowing the employee to respond after having the opportunity to prepare, have a support person present, and have access to all the information you have gathered about the misconduct

To be utilised and considered as part of a progressive process, the process you follow before issuing a verbal warning must be the same as if a written warning is given.

If you do not follow this process, then a verbal warning may be considered as part of the investigation into further misconduct but cannot be relied upon as one of the formal steps. It is instead background information confirming that the employee was aware of the Company rules and the impact of their actions.

If you do not follow this process, details of the verbal warning should not be stored on the employee’s personal file. Instead it would be considered the same as a coaching session, a letter of expectation or a Manager’s diary note.

For many Companies this requirement for a full process has meant that verbal warnings have become a thing of the past.

A more current approach is to streamline the process, doing away with verbal warnings altogether:

  • First instance of the behaviour – Informal discussions reflecting concerns. The Manager would be advised to keep “diary notes”
  • Second instance of the behaviour- Issue a Letter of Expectation alongside conducting a Coaching session driven by a Performance Improvement Plan (if appropriate). This is an informal process which does not require a formal investigation. The Manager outlines the impact of the behaviour and uses a coaching approach to help the employee identify ways they can improve. This is documented by the Manager and kept as part of the Performance Improvement Plan
  • Third instance of the behaviour – An investigation is initiated, which can then set off the formal disciplinary process, inviting the employee to respond. It also includes the other requirements of a full process. A possible outcome could be a first written warning.
  • Continuation of the Disciplinary process

Having a process which is sound, streamlined and allows for the employee to have an opportunity to change their behaviour is critical to minimising the risk of any comebacks on the process.  

This area can be a minefield, and is not easy to get right.

Positive People are experienced in developing performance management frameworks which are legally compliant, understandable and practical for both managers and employees. Contact us today and we can help you review yours.

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Managing Conflict at Work

Conflict Management:

Everyone experiences conflict – in life and at work.

Why? Because different people are always going to have different points of view and different needs, wants and values.

Differences of opinion are natural and usually need to be openly addressed to avoid tension.

So, what should we do when conflict or differences of opinion arise?

  • Deal with the issue before the situation escalates
  • Talk directly to person(s) concerned
  • Work with people to try and resolve the issue
  • If someone approaches you with an issue, be prepared to confront and work on it
  • Where appropriate, if someone complains to you about another person, encourage them to talk directly to the person involved. Give them the tools to do this through a coaching discussion.

Before you meet with the person

  • Identify the real issue, not just the symptoms/emotions
  • Be prepared to work toward agreeable solutions, not just towards “winning” (or one party winning)
  • Remember that it is not unusual to disagree and that people are quite entitled to do so. You can still find a solution and resolve the conflict.

During the discussion

  • Look at the issue through another ‘lens’ or point of view
  •  Be willing to “own” part of the problem
  • Establish a common goal (a solution) and stay focused on it
  • Define the problem and establish solid facts (yours and theirs)
  • Identify common ground
  • Agree on a common goal
  • Explore all possible solutions and select the solutions that will best meet the needs of both parties
  • Decide on a course of action
  • Summarise the agreed course of action back to ensure that the needs have been met

It is also important to manage the post-conflict situation. Don’t leave it and pretend that it didn’t happen. Follow-up is essential. This may involve checking in to see how the person is feeling and monitoring the situation to ensure agreed actions have actually happened. Then when the matter is truly resolved, it’s time to put it to rest and move on.

We can help to equip your leaders to manage conflict effectively. To find out more you can check out our website at here or contact us at 09-455-1077.

Following these guidelines will help you and your team members smooth over and resolve any differences of opinion. Keen to learn more? Positive People run a Conflict Management module as part of our popular Leadership Development Program. Contact us today at info@positivepeople.co.nz or 09 445 1077 to discuss our group or individual training, coaching and development solutions.